whenever i'm down now i listen to empire state of mind instead
i'm so norak omg

I'm crazy
in a point where I repeat empire state of mind by alicia keys over and over while droolling as i read this ny style guide book i got as bday present from my friends and practicing some basic chit chat conversation, ok i practiced how to order a croissant and a cup of capucinno and how to wish someone a great day to finish the conversation. am i crazy or am i crazy?

/so excited hah/

hey, long time no blog here.
well basically because i haven't been blog a lot (who cares??), mostly i just write my rambling on tumblr/twitter/or by talking to the wall...

anyway,
i've been down lately (lol)
well there's up and down in my life

like i finally done interviewing 10 people for this stupid uni project. never in my life i have take that much of rejections. some people are just rude on the telephone and apprently the amount of people not caring about research and science is still mind blowingly big.
anyway anyway i am happy that's done because i was pessimistic at first and thought noone would ever want to answer the quesionaire (it was approx. 12 mins long!) plus my voice is cleary heavily accented. but i made it, so ha!

but i also feel down because i feel so alone/lonely. everybody is just so busy with theirselves and yeah.. i feel like noone wanted to spend times with me. i'm such a crybaby.

i made some new friends though (not imaginary one). meh i dont even know if its ok to label some persons as "friends"....

so yeah blablablah

i'm so excited bc i'm going to new york next month uuuuuu
so today i'm just peeking at some blogs for free events, museum admissions etc etc you know and i got so excited!!!!!!

i hope i can be like a tourist at day, looking up and the big buildings, take pics and going to museums etc and by night i want to chill like going to free show of an indie band or so hahaha
the first few days im going to be alone there because my bf still has school. i'm kinda worry that i will get lost or got shot at night... anyway
i cant wait to go to museums and shows with my bf.

also ive been watching alot of friends.
it get me excited i guess to watch movies/series that is nyc related.
i know i know this is wrong because im already fully packed with expectations but...

anyway
i hope it will be fun
because my life here sucks
oh yeah i just remember i got 3 texts to read and analyze and then i have to present it. and i have less than a month to preapare and i have to work with 2 other germans and and i hope i can get through it. i mean ofcourse i will. i am relieved too that my presentation is going to be held on 10th of dec or something which is before im leaving for ny. so i could enjoy my time in ny without thinking about presentation i guess. oh am i rambling?

i think i should stop and continue planning my trip.

oh and anyway my trip is going to be from berlin - paris - ny
i feel somehow so fabulous, the route sounds like fashionweek marathon lol.
ok i'll stop

How could people read my blog and didn't call for help.

planning my birthday *party*
hahaha yeah just kidding, i don't have friends.
i probably just gonna eat a bucket of kfc alone and weep myself to sleep

so you see i have a lot of stuffs on my ebay watch list. most of them are cheap ebay stuffs, you know printed leggings, cheap shoes from china, etc. they are yes infact, cheap but somehow i keep hesitating myself into buying them. at the same time some wild expensive clothing article and/or a good brand appears and having a major sale (still expensive though) and i was like owowowoow gotta have them!!!1 omgz famous brand for cheaper price!!
so yeah
instead of buying 1 eur cross ring i wanted since years, or yin yang printed leggings for about 10 eur, creepers i've been dying and contemplating over to buy for about 20-25 eur i ended up buying stuffs from american apparel for about 50 usd. which i don't need or seriously obsessing or ever really care.

i mean yes hello i would like to have some stuffs from them (bc the rip offs out there are just poor quality that just fail in every aspect but price) like the disco pant, or riding pant. uh that's it probably, and maybe the spiral pantyhose. but i mean i don't necessarily need them or really craze about them. i mean cool if they put them on sale and somehow into my price range (impossible).

but yeah me being startruck by cheap price at aa outlet on amazon.com ended up buying stupid things i don't really lushing over only for the sake of the name of american apparel and the cheap of the price.

somebody need to cut my hands off so i just stop shopping online.

no
i mean that's too much

i just need self-control
please don't cut off my hands. i mean.... why would you do that?

oh and just now i found this website offering shoes like jeffrey campbell shoes for like 55 pounds!! and they got the tardy too!! i almost flipped off and lost my breath and then i failed to die because yes ofcourse my size is sold out hahaha should've known better.

but that's a good thing, no?
i mean if they have jc's tardy in my size i would probably because i'm just a girl~~~
and i'm gonna be just even poorer and miserable but with beautiful shoes hahah

but but but
they have creepers too!!! for 55 pounds tho, which is yeah ok price for underground shoes (underground is a brand name lol) but still expensive for me bc i'm just so poor!!!!
i mean if i only but one pair of shoes/year that's probably ok and cheap but but i think i buy more than 2 pairs/year.
i'm just... i don't know,  why am i much of a girl and filled with estrogens???
i don't need so much shoes, but.... i do. to satisfy the girl in me. to make me look slightly better (or atleast feel better?)
btw about the website they have flatforms to for like 15-20 pounds so bc of the price i would probably buy something i feel so sad because i am so irresistant to sale which is only happen to dumb girls (me).

depressing life of a poor girl with expensive taste.

edit :
now my shopping cart is 88 pounds (+5 pounds shipping cost)
question : wwjd? what would jesus do?


  • wigs
  • panda eye mask
  • corset :/
  • transparent PVC
  • tapioca pearl...
  • rabbit shaped mini music pillow.. it's cute..
  • blood vessel printed tights
  • alot of eyeball shaped/printed piece
  • alexander wang inspired floating skirt
  • black lipstick
  • lego shaped ice tray
  • skeleton leg printed tights
  • superman's eye printed eye mask...
  • frida kahlo tank top...
  • victorian style bustier....(i know, too fat)
  • smiley face wall decal
  • refillable perfume spray
  • virgin mary threaded dangle earring...
  • galaxy cat shirt

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dresden, saxony, Germany
no.